"A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world." John 16:21
I am finally taking the time to update this thing on what is going on. I had an ultrasound at week 34 to check on the baby and the fibroid. Baby looks great, actually slowed down in size. At week 29 he was measuring ahead, but this past time he was right on track/just a tad smaller, in the 45th percentile. The fibroid isn't growing and continually seems to be "out of the way". I had a long talk with my OB about what I can expect with the delivery and after about an hour long conversation I walked equally confused/anxious/relieved. It's hard to explain. What it comes down to, is I need to trust God in the process. I need to remember He loves me, He loves this baby. And all I can do is pray, and ask for prayers as these final weeks approach.
1. That I could have a vaginal birth. There is a high risk for a "dysfunctional" labor due to the fibroid, and the inability of my uterus to contract enough to get the baby out. This puts me at a greater risk for c-section. The issue with having a c-section is that I am at high risk for a hysterectomy due to the fibroid.
2. IF I have to have a c-section, that I would not have to have a hysterectomy. Having a hysterectomy would obviously be devastating, as this means my child bearing years would officially be over. But this is something I have known I am risk for since the beginning... so in a way, my heart is being prepared for this. What also comes with a hysterectomy though, is risk for hemorrhage, need for blood transfusions, and a higher mortality rate. Not to mention a longer recovery.
3. That I would go in to labor with my OB being in town. Did I mention she will be on spring break April 2-9? I feel like we are on the same page with a plan, as much of one we can have, and my anxiety would go through the roof if I had to experience all of this with someone I've never met. Oy.
4. That the visitor restriction would be lifted. Currently most hospitals around the city have limited visitors right now due to heightened flu admissions. This means Macy would not be able to come to the hospital at all if I were to be there during the restriction. This would be devastating to me, especially if I have surgery and have to be in for awhile.
5. That ultimately, the baby would arrive safely and would be healthy. And that I would be healthy too so I can be the best mom and wife I can be.
5. My anxiety. Remember to turn to God. To pray.
I remember hearing the above verse from John one week at church awhile back. And even though it refers to the pain of childbirth itself, I can really relate it to my entire pregnancy. The pain, the fatigue, the nausea, the growing body, the anxiety. But all that fades the moment your baby arrives. And its worth it, so worth it. I think its totally normal, and OK, to not enjoy being pregnant. It doesn't make you less grateful or that you love your baby any less. It's not like moms who say "I don't' like that my baby doesn't sleep through the night" love their baby any less either. There are parts to this that are hard. And continue to be hard even after the baby comes. There's the notion that marriage is sanctifying, but I have always said, there is nothing more sanctifying than being a parent. To be a parent is the closest picture of Jesus I know. To love with out reprieve, to love no matter what you get in return, to serve with out being served in return. This kind of love starts the moment you find out your pregnant and continues on until eternity.
In other news. We are ready for this baby. Like nursery done, clothes washed, and hospital bags are packed. Can you tell I am anxious to get this over with it? Haha, but for real. Jack any day, K? Here are a few shots from recent times.
|A shot of his crib and monogram in his nursery|
|Me and the hubs at my baby sprinkle|
|I should really avoid wearing stripes in public. You don't even want to know some of the comments I got wearing this shirt the other night.|