|Bandage from the Implanon insertion. Please excuse the drainage/bruising|
My last month of pregnancy I remember fantasizing about getting "back to my old self" and just kept saying... I can't wait to feel like ME again! Little did I know, that was never going to happen again. I don't feel like my "old self", I am now a "new self". My body is completely different, my thoughts are different, my time is different. My entire day and schedule is based on the needs of someone else, I sleep only when she sleeps, and my needs are only met once her needs are. It truly is a lesson on how to be selfless. You love with out being loved in return. I have never had to be selfless before, but since the day I brought Macy home, I have been a different person. With all of the giving though, I must say, I am so thankful for the help of my husband! He is always thinking for me, and intentionally takes the baby so I can take a long shower, a nap, or go run errands by myself. He even booked an HOUR AND A HALF massage for me for my birthday!
|Sweet Macy and I the day after my bday, on the 4th|
About 2 weeks after I had the baby I started to realize the toll the pregnancy took on my body. The more weight that fell off, the more I could see what my body had gone through. As someone who has had body issues since I was a little girl, I really had to protect my thoughts against hating my new body. The stretch marks, loose skin, no muscle definition- it is not easy to look at in the mirror, and the thought of having to get in a bathing suit, especially around my kid-free friends, is going to be the toughest. BUT, at the end of the day, I know it is just another sacrifice you make for your children. I had such a great pregnancy, I have a healthy baby, I guess something had to give, I can't have it all. ((This is what I tell myself to feel better))
At 4 weeks post partum I did start running on the treadmill about 3 days a week and it has been really nice. It takes some strategic planning around Macy's schedule, but I always feel so much better after. I am looking forward to cooler weather and getting of the house more with the jogging stroller. The hot weather has given me a terrible case of cabin fever! I am definitely going to do my best to feel better about myself, my "new self" that is.
|Couch to 5K program, a baby monitor and the treadmill... My new way of working out!|
I write this entry to say- it isn't easy being a new mom, sacrificing your time or body- but it is so worth it. It is God's calling for my life to be Macy Jane's mommy and for that I am grateful. I mean seriously, she is the cutest, sweetest little thing I have ever had the joy of being around!
|My heart explodes just looking at this picture!|